Monday, July 2, 2007

Aftermath.

This is what I wish I could say...really I do:

  • My date with Tyler went fantastic. We laughed, talked, drank beer and goofed off for four hours with no awkward silences and it was all I could do to not crawl across the table and tear his clothes off.
  • He kissed me goodnight and it was fantastic. I mean, of course he kissed me. That's what guys do when they're interested right?
  • We agreed to see one another again, and we've been in steady contact since Friday night. Again -- that would be a given after averaging 20 hours a week online together for three weeks and me putting more effort into getting ready than I put into job interviews. Or my actual job.
  • Tyler has never once ignored my MSN messages. Especially not suddenly and immediately following such a great time together.
  • I've been in such a good mood for the rest of the weekend that I certainly did not spend my Canada Day evening weeping uncontrollably while watching Titanic on TV. Even during the commercials.
  • At no time during the saga of Jack, Rose and a large floating ice cube did I wail the words, "I'm going to die alone." That would have been really pathetic.
  • I definitely did not watch the fireworks from my living room window instead of walking five minutes to the harbour because I couldn't stand to be near 300,000 happy people yelling, "woo-hoo." The fact that 80% of those people would have appeared to be happily coupled wouldn't have bothered me either. Not at all.
  • I never ate cheesecake, and have been sticking to my diet. Why wouldn't I? Everything is going so well.
  • At no point today did I spend 20 minutes staring at a mirror, wondering what exactly I needed to fix first and calculating the interest on a bank loan for plastic surgery.

You know I wouldn't lie to you. The very first point is completely true. I don't think I've ever laughed so much on a date with anybody.

Every other statement should be viewed with some skepticism, but if you believe me you might want to start shopping for that cure for cellulite. It's out there, in a handy spray or moisturizing lotion. Probably right next to the deoderant that really doesn't leave marks and the maxipads that make you suddenly want to ride a white horse down a beach.

My apologies - Bambi is a little puffy and bitter today.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You don't know me, but I'm a friend of Heidi's via her friend Margarita, who sent me the link to this blog insisting I read it because you are hilarious. She is right! I felt the need to comment on this post because this has happened to me time and time again with Lavalife dates. You talk online and the phone for ages, are smitten with eachother online, you meet, you have a fantastic time and then you never hear from them again. Men are jerks. 'Nough said.