In case you didn't notice the planetary alignment, flaming comet, simultaneous lunar and solar eclipse or the re-airing of Shrek on TBS but the impossible happened. I took a good picture of myself -- good enough to post on an online dating site. In fact, the lunar eclipse was so powerful that the shadows fell in such a way it appears I actually have cleavage. On any other day, Steven Spieldberg couldn't come up with special effects that spectacular.
I posted my profile, and waited for a painfully long time. Essentially the time it took to walk to my fridge, drink out of the carton, wipe the lipstick off said carton (I had guests coming over -- what?) and walk back to my computer. No response.
I've spent the last several days in a similar state. Those who think Facebook is addictive have obviously never tried Internet dating. So far I'm disappointed though.
Despite my awesome picture, my wryly amusing opening line and a short but sweet biography I'm getting nowhere. I've sent messages to guys and haven't heard anything. I've sent messages to guys who sent me smiles and heard nothing. I've sent smiles and heard...you guessed it...nothing.
The experience has confirmed one quality I possess -- outright snobbery. If a guy is dumb enough to post a picture with his eyes closed, I don't want to know him. If a guy looks at my profile, sees that I selected "don't want" under the children question ("no f*cking way" was not an option under the drop-down menu), and he has children but still sends me a smile -- forget it. If he is 5'6 inches and misses the part where I reveal I'm 5'11 then he's getting no love. He's getting no love regardless, because I can carry him in my purse.
The situation isn't completely hopeless though. The first guy to send me a smile looked adorable, and when I sent him a message thanking him he wrote me back. Then I wrote him back, and he wrote me back again. It's not The Notebook or anything, but he's wickedly funny, 6 feet tall and smart enough to post a picture with his eyes open. It doesn't get any better than that. No...seriously. It doesn't.
2 comments:
good for you... i gave up to easily i guess... want to help with my profile??
You are, as they say in Mexico - FANTASTICO - (really, it is an actual word, not made up on the Simpsons) why would you expect anything less then to meet someone great!
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