If I tell my Mom I just got home from grocery shopping she'll ask me whether I met anybody. Ditto for having come from the doctor's, the bank machine and my laundry room. If I so much as leave my apartment for any reason, it raises my Mom's hopes that she might one day get to be the mother of the bride.
Obviously, my mother is an optimist. I admire her faith despite almost insurmountable odds, one of those obstacles having been my unwillingness to ever interact with the opposite sex again, even if it meant hiring an official spokesperson every time I need an oil change.
Today however, I found myself walking behind a happy couple and feeling wistful, and that's really all it took. For just one moment, I wanted to hold hands with somebody. Go for a romantic dinner. Kiss passionately. And then not call, because I'm really not ready to be annoyed on that level again for any reason.
Meeting anybody is almost an insurmountable odd. I don't play sports, and refuse good advice like spending time where men are. The most recent recommendation was the local climbing centre. Now how in God's name would my ass hanging out of a harness as I beg to be lowered to the ground going to do anything for my love life?
I'm settled on online dating. I know there's still a stigma attached, but not having sex for an entire decade can also hold some negative connotations. I met my last two boyfriends online and despite rather spectacular endings, everything else was uneventful.
Of course, one of them did break-up with me because his God wouldn't allow our relationship but it seemed normal at the time. And I made sure to tell him sincerely that I felt alright about the whole thing because when it came down to a competition between his God and myself, at least the playing field was fair. Unbelievably, that was only the second time I was accused of blasphemy, in all seriousness.
So that's the plan. You know I'll keep you posted.
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