Are we on the same page?

Big meeting today at work. The kind of meeting where every passing minute causes one more tiny area of my brain to begin bleeding. Hands were shook. Asses covered. The words, "key-decision makers," were abused so horribly, that one section of Webster's Dictionary has taken out a restraining order against my department. This meeting had only one redeeming quality, and he sat three chairs over from me.

I love my co-worker to pieces. He makes my working life bearable, and carries the heavy boxes so I don't have to. However, when he went to Vancouver and had drinks with the latest consultant brought on by management to simultaneously save the world, build relationships and masturbate the vice-president, all my co-worker said about the experience was that Nick* seemed a little arrogant at first, but was indeed a hell of a nice guy, and he supposed the arrogance came from Nick being some kind of multi-millionaire, running three different companies.

I pictured some grey-haired dude with a paunch and an expensive little belt defying the laws of physics. I pictured rheumy eyes and at least 17 references to golfing during his presentation. This is not what happened.

Nick is over six feet tall. Dark hair. Blue eyes. He looks like Michael Scofield from Prison Break, if Michael had hair and Italian in his background. He can't be older than 35, and his voice was like fine leather covered in sex and chocolate.

He wore no wedding ring.

My co-worker left for a conference shortly after the meeting, but when he gets back to the office I'm taking him out to the parking lot and kicking his ass.

When you know one of your best female friends is single, and you meet a young, hot, multi-millionaire with no wedding ring you holla at a girl. You at least tell her to put on some lip gloss before a meeting, and possibly encourage her to brush her hair.

If my co-worker were a woman, leaving out all Nick's details would be indefensible, but now I realize he just needs more training. And I need a meeting in Vancouver.

**Naturally Nick's name has been changed because this posting may be embarrassing when we get married, especially after revealing that my first fantasy I had of Nick and I together was Nick buying me a house.